After the countless stories I've heard of young people questioning their sexual identities, I'm convinced that the number one leading cause is NOT that so many of us are naturally gay or transgender. Rather, we have simply mistaken cultural norms for biological norms.
For example, if a little girl prefers to play with trucks instead of with dolls, or wants to play baseball instead of stay at home to cook with her mom, there are many in our society who would consider her a "tom boy," at best, or a transgender person or lesbian, at worst. For some, these incredibly minor variations in expected, gender-based, childhood behavior are enough to insist that the child is transgender and should immediately undergo chemical and/or surgical alterations in order to force that child's body to align, as best as possible, with that perceived gender.
Consider the case of James Younger, whose mother has insisted is actually a girl named "Luna," and is seeking court approval to start her son on puberty blockers when he begins puberty. Apparently, she decided her son was actually male when she saw him playing with a Frozen toy when he was as young as 3 years old. Since then, she has conditioned him to behave in stereotypically female ways, including dressing him in girls' clothing, having him use the girls' bathroom at school, and insisting that everyone in his life tell him he's a girl and treat him like a girl. Click HERE for more on that story.
So, let's explore the basic questions that cases like these bring up:
Are Little Boys Who Play with "Girl Toys"
Gay or Transgender?
Gay or Transgender?
No, of course not! Why? Because it's culture, not biology, that has assigned "femininity" or "masculinity" to inanimate objects. A doll is not an exclusively feminine item, and a truck is not an exclusively masculine item. These things have no gender. However, since we are an extremely sexist, male-centric culture, we have created some extremely narrow, legalistic, and restrictive gender roles. These gender roles typically relegate females to what are considered passive, domestic chores and males to activities we feel exude power and control. Therefore, items like dolls are considered "toys for girls" and items like trucks are considered "toys for boys." Far be it for anyone to stray from these perceived gender norms, lest they be labeled sexually deviant.
But little children are innocent, and they haven't yet been poisoned by our sexism and lack of respect for the natural, biological expressions of humanity exhibited by males and females alike. If a little boy sees a colorful doll, he may very well enjoy playing with it. After all, females aren't the only ones capable of loving and nurturing and protecting babies and children. Males are also designed in God's image, and God is described as a "mother hen who longs to gather her chicks under her wings" (Matt. 23:37). To claim differently is to insult the many wonderful dads out there. And males aren't the only ones capable of engaging in world-changing, powerful activities. Eve was called "ezer" (Genesis 2:18), which is best translated as "mighty rescuer," and is also a term used for God. I Chronicles 7:24 mentions a woman named Sheerah who built two cities, Esther saved her nation from slaughter, and Deborah was the spiritual, military, and political leader of Israel. (Yes! She was even in charge of all the men.)
We must stop relying on stereotypes and prejudice to inform our understandings of natural, biological gender.
Get this: If a male person likes to sew or braid hair, that is a biologically natural expression of maleness--simply because the person enjoying those things is biologically male! Sewing and braiding hair has absolutely nothing to do with sexual attraction. No non-sexual activity does! That person is NOT gay. He is NOT transgender.
If a female person enjoys playing sports, leading meetings, or working with heavy equipment, that is a biologically natural expression of femaleness--simply because the person enjoying those things is biologically female! Being athletic, being a leader, and working a back hoe has absolutely nothing to do with sexual attraction. That person is NOT a lesbian. She is NOT transgender.
Does Variation in Body Type Indicate Sexual Preference?
Certainly not. You don't have to be a broad-shouldered, muscular, deep-voiced male to be heterosexual. Likewise, men with slight figures or higher voices are not automatically homosexual. They are not "women stuck in men's bodies." Every cell in a male's body contains the male pairing of XY chromosomes. Therefore, if you are biologically male, your body type is a legitimate expression of natural and normal maleness. There is NOTHING wrong with you! Your body type can't make you gay. You aren't transgender. You are a natural, normal male.
And you don't have to be a slight-figured, big-breasted, narrow-shouldered female to be heterosexual. And women with broad shoulders, athletic builds, and strong arms aren't automatically homosexual. They aren't "men stuck in women's bodies." Every cell in a female's body contains the female pairing of the XX chromosomes. Therefore, if you are biologically female, your body type is a legitimate expression of natural and normal femaleness. There is NOTHING wrong with you! Your body type can't make you a lesbian. You aren't transgender. You are a natural, normal female.
Conclusion
If you are worried about becoming gay or transgendered, perhaps you are putting too much emphasis on what others say or believe (e.g. insults, accusations, and cultural stereotypes). Instead, pay attention to what God has to say about you. After all, He is your Creator and He doesn't make mistakes. He did not accidentally assign you the wrong gender. You are precisely who God created you to be, including your biological sex. And He can be trusted to help you with your sexuality. After all, He designed sexuality, as well. It was His idea, and He can help you work through any problems associated with it. Let me end with the following:
"God created humanity in God’s own image, in the divine image God created them, male and female God created them" (Genesis 1:27).
"So then, if anyone is in Christ, that person is part of the new creation. The old things have gone away, and look, new things have arrived" (II Corinthians 5:17)!
"I have been crucified with Christ and I no longer live, but Christ lives in me. And the life that I now live in my body, I live by faith, indeed, by the faithfulness of God’s Son, who loved me and gave himself for me" (Galatians 2:20).
"Or don’t you know that your body is a temple of the Holy Spirit who is in you? Don’t you know that you have the Holy Spirit from God, and you don’t belong to yourselves? You have been bought and paid for, so honor God with your body" (I Corinthians 6:19-20).
"Therefore, if you were raised with Christ, look for the things that are above where Christ is sitting at God’s right side. Think about the things above and not things on earth. You died, and your life is hidden with Christ in God. When Christ, who is your life, is revealed, then you also will be revealed with him in glory" (Colossians 3:1-4).
"...change the former way of life that was part of the person you once were, corrupted by deceitful desires. Instead, renew the thinking in your mind by the Spirit and clothe yourself with the new person created according to God’s image in justice and true holiness" (Ephesians 4:22-24).
"I am the vine; you are the branches. If you remain in me and I in you, then you will produce much fruit. Without me, you can’t do anything" (John 15:5).
