The Church and Women by Jennifer Hungerford, guest blogger

In today’s church, it is perplexing that just as much immorality takes place within the church at large as compared to the rest of the world.  It would seem that Christians shouldn’t struggle in the same way, since they have been “set free.”  Issues like sex outside of marriage, pornography use, affairs, and abortion are some of the big ones, but the fact of the matter is, sin is as much of a struggle for Christians as it is for non-believers. The abuse of women—the abandonment and the objectification—is the same. 

Why does the “church” struggle with sexual immorality and perversion as much as the rest of the world?  Why are women just as likely to be hurt by men within the church as outside of the church?  If the church is supposed to behave and look differently than the rest of the world, what has gone wrong?  Why do Christian men abuse, mistreat, and use women for their own satisfaction at the same rate as the non-Christ-follower?

It all goes back to the beginning—back to Genesis. Back to God stirring up the dust and breathing ruach into it.  Back to God reaching into the man and taking out his DNA and forming another human who was just like Adam and yet different. 

We must take a look at our basic premise of the value that God placed on men and women.  If believers in Jesus are taught that Genesis shows woman-kind as “less than,” then mankind will treat women differently than they do men. They will see women as a thing they can manipulate, use, consume, and throw away. 

So, who was woman?  Woman was called man’s ‘ezer k neged.  The word ‘ezer is a word that means ‘a helper who is capable, powerful, intelligent.’  It is the same word that is used to describe God in the Old Testament when He came to the aid of people in need.  It denotes great strength and power.  And yet we don’t assume that God became weaker or in some way less able than man when He stepped in to “help”. 

The word k neged denotes an equal partner, a corresponding equal, and adequate helper.  God did not give Adam a liability. He gave Adam exactly what Adam needed, a co-equal partner, one who was on the same level as he was, who would walk alongside him.

When our church leaders teach anything different, they set women up to be taken advantage of. As soon as respect for the equality of another human being is removed, it is easy to justify all of the ways by which we leverage our superiority over one another. It is true that physiologically, men are usually stronger and larger than women. Their body strength gives them automatic advantage over women. It can be a very easy step for men to abuse their strength to bully or force a woman to do what they want.  Men can (and have) used their strength to capture women, to hold them in bondage, to torture them, and to sell their bodies. Unfortunately, these terrible actions have even been perpetrated by fathers against their daughters! The Bible itself shows us situations where women were sold or “given in marriage” by their fathers. 

Physiologically men and women are different. They have different hormones, which causes a plethora of differences!  Just because men are more prone to risk taking, are more muscular and hairy, that doesn’t mean they are automatically superior to women. What it does mean is that they need to use their power to honor God and to show the true heart of our Lord by serving others, meeting the needs of the weak, lifting up the oppressed, advocating for those who have no voice. In God’s eyes that is true strength. 

A quick study of the Bible shows time and again that God’s heart is for the oppressed, for the downtrodden, for those who have been pushed to the outside of his kingdom.  Proverbs 31:8-9 (ESV) says, “Open your mouth for the mute, for the rights of all who are destitute.  Open your mouth, judge righteously, defend the rights of the poor and needy.”  Isaiah 1:17 reads,  “Learn to do right; seek justice. Defend the oppressed. Take up the cause of the fatherless; plead the case of the widow.”

The church at large needs to get a grip on an accurate teaching of the value of women, starting with Genesis.

There are many Christian men who are not abusers, who would never use their strength to hurt a woman, and who love the women in their life in a gentle and protective way.  And yet some of those same men still have deep-seated erroneous beliefs that women are inherently of less value and that they are not seen equally by God. They may not ever vocalize those beliefs, but these insidious belief systems are deeply rooted in the Christian psyche. Most women experience it in subtle forms on a daily basis.

It can be seen when a woman is standing with her husband, and another man walks up to introduce himself and make casual conversation. Imagine how it feels to the woman to not have the new acquaintance enquire after her line of work, or to ask what she enjoys doing in her free time.  Imagine what it is like to stand there and smile benignly while being ignored.  It can also be seen when a Christian man only makes eye contact with a woman’s husband, but never makes solid eye contact with the woman.  It can occur when the opinion of a man is asked in a meeting, but the woman is not given the same deference.

It’s not enough for Christian men to talk about women being co-equal partners. It’s not enough for well-meaning men to sympathize and feel regret for how women are treated.  Men must make room at the table. They must invite spiritually gifted women to be on the church board, to be elders, deacons, and pastors.  Because the patriarchal system is so entrenched, women need men who are not only willing to invite them into leadership, but who are excited and willing to leverage their power positions to see women using their God-given gifts for leading, teaching and preaching. 

Note:  There are many great books that can help Christians coming from a patriarchal background to begin to break away from the lies that Satan has used to keep the Church in bondage. 

Why Not Woman by Loren Cunningham and David Joel Hamilton

Jesus Feminist by Sarah Bessey

Who Said Women Can’t Teach by Charles Trombley

What Paul Really Said About Women by John Temple Bristow

Half the Church by Caroline Custis James

Being a Woman in America Fact Sheet

Marginalization and Subordination of Women

·         The vast majority of Christian churches in America claim a patriarchal or complementarian attitude regarding women, simultaneously insisting that women are “equal” in value to men, but that God has given them separate “roles.” Due to this “separate but equal” paradigm, women are consistently denied equal leadership roles, equal pay, equal educational opportunities, equal access to promotions, equal voice, and equal respect in regards to decision making within the church, home, and workplace. When women express dissatisfaction with this system, they are often silenced, rejected, further limited, and even accused of sinfulness (especially of having a “rebellious, Jezebel spirit.”) This kind of gas-lighting is spiritual abuse. Hereby, the Gospel meant to free is used as a further means of bondage.

•  Women are paid less than men and, therefore, receive less social security once their jobs end.

“In 2016, women working full time in the United States typically were paid just 80 percent of what men were paid, a gap of 20 percent.” (https://www.aauw.org/research/the-simple-truth-about-the-gender-pay-gap/)

•   Women are more likely to live in poverty than men.

“In 2016, 13 percent of American women ages 18–64 were living below the federal poverty level, compared with 10 percent of men. For ages 65 and older 11 percent of women and 8 percent of men were living in poverty” (https://www.aauw.org/research/the-simple-truth-about-the-gender-pay-gap/)

•  Women are more likely to be left to raise children alone. (https://singlemotherguide.com/single-mother-statistics/)

“42 percent of mothers with children under the age of 18 are their families’ primary or sole breadwinners.” (https://www.aauw.org/research/the-simple-truth-about-the-gender-pay-gap/)

• Women are more likely than men to be judged regarding their looks and what they wear.

(https://www.recruiter.com/i/in-2018-professional-women-are-still-judged-by-their-appearances/ & https://abcnews.go.com/Technology/story?id=119952&page=1

Psychological Ramifications

• Women are more twice as likely as men to experience depression. (https://www.nbcnews.com/health/health-news/women-twice-likely-men-have-depression-survey-finds-n847556)

Objectification of Women

• Most pornography features women as sexual objects, not people.

"Men spend $10 billion on pornography a year. 11,000 new pornographic films are made every year. And in those films, women are not people. In pornography, women are three holes and two hands" (Jensen, Robert. "A Cruel Edge: The Painful Truth About Today's Pornography--and What Men Can Do About It." Retrieved April 24, 2014 from: http://uts.cc.utexas.edu/~rjensen/freelance/pornography&cruelty.htm)

"57% of pastors, 64A% of youth pastors in U.S. struggle with porn addiction." (https://www.christiantoday.com/article/57-percent-of-pastors-and-64-of-youth-pastors-in-u-s-struggle-with-porn-addiction-survey-shows/78178.htm)

• Popular media regularly portray women as sexual objects, which influences cultural attitudes toward women.

“Implicit messages such as those found in the Twilight series appear elsewhere, too. A newspaper story might describe a crime in a titillating manner or encourage readers to blame the victim. A novel might suggest it is noble for a woman to allow an abusive partner back in her life. A popular song might devalue or objectify women, or a movie might portray domestic violence as a ‘lover’s quarrel’ leading into a romantic interlude,” (Clark, Cat. “Intimate Partner Violence.” The American Feminist, Fall/Winter 2011, pp. 12-17.)

“Young women who have read EL James’s erotic novel Fifty Shades of Grey are more likely to display sexist attitudes, according to new research.” https://www.theguardian.com/books/2016/may/10/fifty-shades-of-grey-readers-show-higher-levels-of-sexism-study-finds

Crime

•          Women are more likely to be sexually abused as children.

“Child sexual abuse is not rare. Retrospective research indicates that as many as 1 out of 4 girls and 1 out of 6 boys will experience some form of sexual abuse before the age of 18. However, because child sexual abuse is by its very nature secretive, many of these cases are never reported” (“Child Sexual Abuse Fact Sheet, 2009.” The National Child Traumatic Stress Network. Retrieved April 24, 2014 http://nctsn.org/nctsn_assets/pdfs/caring/ChildSexualAbuseFactSheet.pdf)

•          The cultural identity of womanhood and the female lived experience is indivisibly connected with being raped.

“Cultural representation of glamorized degradation has created a situation among the young in which boys rape and girls get raped as a normal course of events” (Wolf, Naomi. The Beauty Myth. William Morrow & Co.: New York, 1991. 167.)

Approximately 90% of rape victims are women (“Get The Facts.” Rape Crisis Center. Retrieved April 24, 2014 from: http://www.rccmsc.org/resources/get-the-facts.aspx.)

Women who have been raped experience a great deal of rape-related fear; however, even women who have never experienced sexual assault nevertheless report high levels rape-related fear.

(https://www.tandfonline.com/doi/abs/10.1080/01591487.1989.11005984?journalCode=rjfs18)

•          Females are far more likely to be victims of intimate partner violence.

“In 2007, intimate partner violence resulted in 2,340 deaths; 70% of the victims were women” (Clark, Cat. “Intimate Partner Violence.” The American Feminist, Fall/Winter 2011, pp. 12-17.)

“Females (76%) experienced more domestic violence than males (24%).” (Morgan, Rachel E. and Truman, Jennifer L. “Nonfatal Domestic Violence, 2003-2012.” Bureau of Justice Statistics. Retrieved April 24, 2014 from:http://www.bjs.gov/index.cfm?ty=pbdetail&iid=4984)

•   Women are regularly held accountable for the actions of their attackers/abusers.

Women are more likely than men to think victims should take responsibility for their assault, and women ages 18-24 are, of all female groups, most likely to believe the victim is responsible. (The Havens. Wake Up To Rape Research: Summary Report. 2010: 5.)

•          Though women commit fewer crimes than men, they are more likely to be victims of violent crime than men, especially domestic violence and sexual assault.

“In 2012, 73.8 percent of all arrestees were males. Males accounted for 80.1 percent of persons arrested for violent crimes and for 62.6 percent of persons arrested for property crimes. Males comprised 88.7 percent of persons arrested for murder and nonnegligent manslaughter in 2012. Of the total number of persons arrested for drug abuse violations, 79.7 percent were males.” According to this same study, the only crime where women accounted for a greater number of offenses was “prostitution and commercialized vice,” the majority of which could, arguably, simply be cases of victim blame—cases of women and girls who have been or are being sex-trafficked. Additionally, 99.1% of rapes and 92.2% of sex offenses are committed by males. 2012 FBI Criminal Justice Report. https://ucr.fbi.gov/crime-in-the-u.s/2012/crime-in-the-u.s.-2012/tables/42tabledatadecoverviewpdf/table_42_arrests_by_sex_2012.xls

Males are more likely to be murdered (usually by other males); however, females are far more likely to be victims of sexual assault and domestic violence, usually by a man she knows. https://www.crimeinamerica.net/2016/10/27/females-have-higher-rates-of-violent-crime-than-males/

“The overwhelming majority of women in prison are survivors of domestic violence. Three-quarters have histories of severe physical abuse by an intimate partner during adulthood, and 82% suffered serious physical or sexual abuse as children.” Correctional Association of New York at http://www.correctionalassociation.org/issue/domestic-violence & https://www.crimeinamerica.net/2016/10/12/national-statistics-on-women-offenders/

•        Women are unlikely to report being sexually assaulted or raped, usually due to fear of reprisal and/or rejection, the belief no one will help, or an unwillingness to get the perpetrator in trouble. (https://ocrsm.umd.edu/files/Why-Is-Sexual-Assault-Under-Reported.pdf) & (https://www.rainn.org/statistics/criminal-justice-system )

“It is believed that only 15.8 to 35 percent of all sexual assaults are reported to the police.” (U.S. Bureau of Justice Statistics, M. Planty and L. Langton, “Female Victims of Sexual Violence, 1994-2010,” 2013; Wolitzky-Taylor et al, “Is Reporting of Rape on the Rise? A Comparison of Women with Reported Versus Unreported Rape Experiences in the National Women’s StudyReplication,” 2010)

“Due partially to low reporting rates, only 9 percent of all rapists get prosecuted. Only 5 percent of cases lead to a felony conviction. Only 3 percent of rapists will spend a day in prison. The other 97 percent walk free.” (Probability Statistics Calculated By the Rape Abuse and Incest National Network, “Reporting Rates,” 2013)

•       Women are more likely to be counseled (especially within the church) to remain in an emotionally or physically abusive marriage.

(http://www.patheos.com/blogs/friendlyatheist/2018/04/30/leaked-audio-shows-southern-baptist-leader-telling-abused-wives-to-stay-and-pray/ & http://www.abc.net.au/news/2017-07-18/domestic-violence-church-submit-to-husbands/8652028)

Victimization of Pregnant Women

·         Homicide is the leading killer of pregnant women.

•  Pregnant women have been fired, denied employment, kicked out of school, denied housing, and restricted from other basic sources of economic support for refusing to submit to an abortion.
• Pregnant women & girls in America have been raped, stabbed, shot, bombed, poisoned, beaten with bats, and strangled—most often by the father of their unborn child.
•  64% of women surveyed reported feeling pressured to abort.
• 79% of women surveyed were not told or deceived about available resources.
• Post-abortive women are 6 times more likely to commit suicide.
•  67% of women surveyed were not counseled prior to their abortion.
•  84% of women surveyed weren’t sufficiently informed before their abortion.
•  65% of women suffer trauma symptoms after abortion.
•   Many post-abortive women report being misinformed by experts regarding fetal development, abortion alternatives, and risks.
•  Many post-abortive women report having been denied essential personal, family, societal, or economic support.
•  Post-abortive women are nearly 4 times more likely to die from any and all causes.(Forced Abortion in America, Special Report, Elliot Institute.)

·         Lack of Church Support for Abortion-Vulnerable Women

•  36% of post-abortive women surveyed were attending church regularly at the time of their first abortion.
•  70% of abortions are obtained by women who profess to be Christian or Catholic.
•  76% of post-abortive women surveyed said the local church had no influence on her decision.
• 59% of women surveyed received or expected the church to react to her in a judgmental or condemning way.
•  49% of women agree that a pastor’s teachings on forgiveness don’t seem to apply to abortion.
•  65% of post-abortive women believe church members judge single women who are pregnant.
• 51% of women agree that churches aren’t prepared to discuss unplanned pregnancy options.

(Care Net National Office 2015 Survey)

Women Are Stronger Than We Think

•    On average, women live longer than men. (https://unstats.un.org/unsd/demographic-social/products/worldswomen/documents/Health_BW.pdf)

·         Women are more likely to survive a crisis. (http://bigthink.com/philip-perry/women-are-more-likely-to-survive-a-crisis-than-men)

•   Women are more likely to be religiously/spiritually-minded than men. (https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/blog/the-secular-life/201409/why-are-women-more-religious-men)
•  Women are more likely to donate to charity than men. (https://www.bizjournals.com/bizwomen/news/latest-news/2017/08/women-more-likely-to-donate-than-men.html)
•  Women are less likely than men to commit suicide. (https://www.sciencedirect.com/science/article/pii/S0010440X98900578)

Things Men Need to Understand About Women

•          Women experience far more fear than men, especially in regard to sexual violence. The threats are not imagined. Their fear is NOT irrational, nor is it due to being “overly emotional.”
•         A man will never have a healthy relationship with a woman he sees as beneath him.
•          Even “benevolent sexism” (e.g. “Women should lovingly led and protected by men.”) is still sexism. All sexism is bad.
•          A man will never be able to love a woman he does not respect.
•          Respect is recognizing and honoring another person’s unique, inherent value (even when they do not).
•          Love is choosing the highest good for the other person.
•         Intimacy is truly seeing and knowing another person for who they are. Think “Into-Me-See.”
•       A woman must have respect before she has love. (Love cannot exist without respect.)
•         In respect to a woman’s God-given identity of an “ezer” (Genesis 2:18), which means “mighty rescuer,” women will naturally fight to help and protect others. However, women in our society have been so ingrained with the idea that they are “less” and, therefore, deserving of less, many women are afraid to stand up for themselves—further compounding the injuries women suffer. Women are naturally others-focused, but this gift to humanity is systematically used against them.

 Compiled and Created by Susan Thomas, M.A.