The Rebellious, Unwed Mother: Why I'm Against Abortion

I was raised Christian. I was raised to believe sex before marriage was wrong. But I got involved in an unhealthy, manipulative, emotionally and verbally abusive relationship, and I ended up pregnant, abandoned, and alone.

The father of my child wanted me to have an abortion and let me know that if I didn't, he wouldn't give me a single cent. No surprise there. This is a common enough story. Due to how far I'd slipped, I was afraid to tell my family. I was at a Christian school at the time, and was afraid I'd get kicked out and never graduate.

So there I was, without a boyfriend, without family support, without the possibility of an education, without a job or any source of income, and I had a baby on the way. To many, many people in this country and across the world, abortion was my only option. And I could do it and keep it secret.

But that's the lie. Abortion is not any kind of answer to any of those problems, and here's why:

Abortion promised me a few "good" things, but it demanded the only thing I had that was actually priceless: my child.

Spoiler alert: I didn't kill my child. My rebelliousness had gotten me into a great deal of trouble, but it was about to get me out. I had every human reason to sacrifice my baby for what I was told would be a better future. But, once again, I rebelled. I clenched my fists because I finally found something--someone--worth fighting for.

I rebelled against my abusive, user, narcissistic boyfriend. "NO! I'm NOT going to kill my baby because you're a deadbeat dad and can only think of yourself!" (He left me. Yes, it was ugly but, seriously, good riddance!)

I rebelled against my fear of telling my family. "NO! I'm NOT going to lie anymore or hide anymore! I'm going to trust that they will still love me and, if they can't support me, I'll find a way to do it alone!" (They were saddened by my behavior and situation, but actually really excited about the baby. They bent over backwards to help us out. Turns out they're really wonderful people.)

I rebelled against my fear of telling my school and losing my education and future. "NO! I'm NOT going to let them pressure me into aborting--even indirectly! They aren't the only ones who can educate me!" (I did get kicked out of school, but they let me finish up the semester first. They let me come back later and finish up my bachelor's degree. Believe it or not, I have a master's degree now.)

I rebelled against my fear of never getting married--of never being loved. I was a "tarnished" woman with a kid. Who would want me now? But again, I balled my fists and cried, "NO! I'm NOT going to let the unknown and my fear be a reason that my child dies! If no one wants me, then no one wants me! I don't need a man to tell us what we're worth!" (I did end up getting married to the most amazing man on the planet--sorry, ladies, he's taken. He adopted my daughter and raised her as his own, and we have two boys together. Life is so much better than just "good!")

There was one area, though, where I couldn't rebel any longer. I had to stop rebelling against God.

I thought I had completely blown it with God. I didn't know how to make it right, and for a long time I simply kept walking that self-destructive path of sex and abuse and blindly grasping for control--all the while trying to get away from my own guilt. I was sure God was going to punish me, so I figured any pain I experienced along the way was just God's justice for my rebelliousness. I had no reason to escape, because I felt I didn't deserve an escape.

But then God gave me a reason to escape. That reason was my child.

God knew I didn't have the strength to escape the trouble I had chosen for myself, and He LOVED me enough to let me get pregnant. The world didn't see it, but God knew my child would become my reason for finally escaping the cycle of abuse and seek help. My baby girl--despite the way she came into the world--was, in a very real way, my rescue.

Get this--God never punished me! Instead, He blessed me! He saved me! And He did it by giving me the most precious gift imaginable! My daughter!

Many years have passed since that day, but it's never far from my mind or heart. My daughter is now a beautiful, intelligent college student! She's a straight-A student and a phenomenally talented artist. She is the kind of person others open up to--telling her their deepest pain because they know she'll listen without judging. She has a side-splitting, infectious sense of humor, and wins every game of Pictionary she plays, so be sure she's on your team.  I have nearly 20 years of memories now of this girl--her first taste of ice cream, her funny toddler-speak, the first time some boy on the playground asked her to marry him (actually, it was a set of twins who both wanted to marry her. Weird!) And today I can clearly see how MUCH I would've missed if I had bowed to those early pressures to give her life away to "save" mine.

The promises abortion offers are SUCH lies! I can't stress this enough! Every time someone argues for why abortion is okay, or good, or should be legal, I think of my daughter. I realize those voices are STILL telling me that her life is not as valuable as mine.

What? First of all, all those unknown fears are no match for a woman's will. We think of women as weak. Women aren't weak! We are strong! We can handle the problems that come our way if you'd just get out of our way long enough to let us do it!

And on the scale of strong women, I'm somewhere near the bottom. I fouled up my life big time. I went against my own convictions. I sacrificed my own safety for the promise of love from some man I knew was abusive. I put everything I had of value--my faith, my family, my relationships, my education, my future--at risk for some narcissistic guy. What kind of idiot does that?!

But even I knew my child had value, and even I was willing to give my life for hers. That's just what mothers do. It's natural. It's biological. It's why motherhood is one of the most amazing, God-reflecting, and supernatural states a person can be in. It's also why there's such an attack on it. The Enemy knows that birth and motherhood--the bringing forth of another image-bearer of God--is a sacred privilege and responsibility. It is a threat to him, so he will do anything he can to destroy it.

Abortion destroys motherhood. It destroys children--God's little image-bearers. It destroys women and mothers--God's feminine image-bearers. It destroys men and fathers--God's masculine image-bearers. It is a direct attack on Christ's three main characteristics: The Way, the Truth and the Life. It replaces hope with emptiness. It replaces the truth with a lie.  It replaces life with death.

I know there are a lot of you out there who still think that abortion is a complicated issue and that just making it illegal won't solve anything. Well, abortion is complicated. But giving birth really isn't. It's a biologically necessary part of life. And once we remove killing our own children as an option, you'll be surprised how soon we discover and provide better, viable solutions. Already, there's no pregnancy that is so difficult that a life-embracing solution cannot be found--one that does not involve intentionally killing anyone.

Aren't sure about that? Then ask. I'll be happy to explain how, even cases of rape, incest, poverty, medically-risky pregnancies, etc, can all be dealt with in a just, life-embracing, woman-centered way that does not require legalized abortion. So make the right choice today. Choose to support life.